Boom Boom Boom #2

"Boom Boom Boom", I hit the drum through my blurred eyes. I haven't cried, and I know I never would, but tears; they come and go. This time it came, just to glisten at my iris, not intending to fall, and not intending to dry itself up.

Now that I'm alone here working these drumsticks, memories are rushing back. From 28 years ago till today, scenes of happy moments kept projecting themselves in my head. Too many fleeting memory pictures to focus on one, before I could grab one, it moved and another appeared in its place. But to reminisce chosen memories of you, I have these...

I remembered the time you woke me up in the night, tell me you're hungry and whether I would like to accompany you, and we'd had a simple dish of fried grouper that you caught the week before. We'd talk about plans for the future, what is good for you and for me, never leaving out anything by chance.

I remembered the time when you took me to my first fishing trip, I fell asleep in the car. When we reached the lake, you shook me, and with that western slang you said "Wake up, booyyye!" I snickered at that, and you laughed while preparing to get the fishing gears out of the car to the pier. Then you came back to me, instead of helping me out of the car, you decided to carry me instead and plop me to the chair already prepared for me to sit at the pier. I remembered one incident where we saw cops at the other side of the lake pulling out an inflated torso of someone, maybe it was female, no arms and no legs. Very eerie, but that didn't dampen our outing. We made the most of it.

I remembered too when I graduated, and you actually ran on stage hoisting my hands higher. I was embarrassed, but I was happy. I never believed in myself to complete my degree, but you were there to prove me wrong. I even had a kiss on the cheek by a stranger and my friends yelled in support while you just stood there, with your arms crossed and laughing. It is one of my best moments with you involved.

Sadly, you're gone now. God took you too soon.

Now, alone in this wheelchair I've known for the past 25 years, I've lost my only family ever since your mother died in the car accident when you were 3. I'm alone again, son. It was disheartening to see you battle cancer just when your band is soaring. I know you struggled to fight for your life because you don't want to leave me alone, but yes, I whispered to you in our dying minutes to just let go. You've given me enough strength and confidence to go through what's left of my remaining years.

Please, when I die, wait for me at heaven's door with mommy ha? For the life of me, I really am a novice at drums. Just treat this like a tribal send-away from your daddy here, accompanying you to heaven. Tell mommy I love her... and son, I love you.

Convinced that my son heard my every word and thought, I closed my eyes and continued playing.. "Boom boom boom"